20 Tips for The Inner Procrastinator

Sorry I'm late

I had writers block, you know.

Over this post, as though it mattered.

Procrastination.

Procrastination in action

A long word .

For me, the toughest thing when commencing a day in the (virtual) office is procrastination.

Of course, it doesn't come with a label.

That would be too obvious

It is far more insidious than that.

For me, it manifests as an urge to check in to social media.

Just to see how everyone is, and. you know, whether I missed anything important overnight, or maybe

the weather, in case it should take a turn for the worse today, or-

You get the idea.

I'm sure it's the same for many.

Temptation comes in a wide variety of flavours


I thought I could resist easily,

Having cast aside the vices of a lifetime.

Well, two of them.

 I used to say that people who gave up drinking and smoking didn't actually live longer ; it just feels like it.

Anyway, do I feel better for it ?

Well, yes and no.


Normally health benefits would be associated with giving up such vices.

But as I now fight a daily battle with an aggressive form of MS , I laugh at the irony.

Forgive me though - I have veered from the point.
No more talk of my aches and pains.
I'll save that for Farcebook:
or,you know, just stop whining.

In this age of online clickbait and eye-catching headlines designed to reel in the unwary,
the latterday fishers of men are the likes of  buzzfeed.
Not that they offer salvation , or anything useful really ;
their purpose is merely to trap the unwary in a turbulent sea of memes-
 a whirlpool which leads to the centre where all matter is vanquished and only clickbait prevails.

When I say fishers of men, I mean mankind as in men and women-
perhaps I should say humankind,
not to be chauvinistic or partaking in the patriarchal monologue
Or whatever politically correct distraction inflames the senses of the gentlefolk of t'interwebs these days.
I read somewhere that we live in the Age of Instant Outrage-

It seems to be the case that the merest hint of a cause to fight for galvanises the online masses.
And alongside an almost complete inability to check facts , we get witch hunts .

These days, I tend to find myself easily 'flipped' in the emotive sense.
Triggers abound.
Red rags to a bull, and all that.

Whether it's linked to my condition, I don't know.
Righteous indignation is almost a currency online -
it translates into clicks which results in revenue, or at the very least more readers and therefore more likes.

Inventory of  Everything

I was going to opine at length on the latest data from the New Horizons flyby of Pluto, but I disconsolately thought 'so what?'
The off - hand dismissal worthy of a sullen teen.

Earlier, I found myself online, berating someone for writing a piece which was horribly obtuse and wilfully pretentious.
Then I looked in the mirror.

Ahem

Then I wondered whether to write about attempts to outlaw the use of links.

In the end, I decided not to do anything.

Procrastination.

Which is where I came in.

P.S. I am sorry that there are no actual tips to aid with procrastination, for which I apologise. It just seemed an appropriate title.
P.P.S. Just Do It ?
P.P.P.S. No, I think that's a patented slogan. Oh well.

Invisible Wars

Today I came across a website that allows you to witness ddos attacks in real time,on a global scale .
It's the closest you'll get to WW3 on your computer/laptop/mobile.
Link here.
Marvel at the fact that this invisible war is being waged every second of every day.

It reminds me of an old computer game (Missile Command )

Missile_Command_flyer.jpg CC use

At the point where I began watching, it was mostly China versus the USA, but pretty much every nation gets a look in-
Which is nice.
Inclusivity and all that.

Cyber-warfare is an inevitable result of the global internet, human nature being what it is.

In some nations, access to the internet is restricted or even forbidden and replaced with state approved infranet alternatives.
Many DDOS attacks are attempts to circumvent official channels for political reasons, or just to torrent freebie films etc.
The internet has given us an electronic Wild West:
A lawless, invisible  electronic layer that crosses national and international boundaries.
Not just physically, but mentally too, with its continued challenges to the status quo, and the seemingly endless redefinition of ownership, be it copyright , intellectual property etc.

Just by writing this rant, I am participating.
In a small way.
And so are you !
Perhaps more than you imagine, if you use any form of social media.
Interactions with social media illustrate similar principles in action , albeit on a lesser scale.

The primary aim of much social media seems to be the triggering of emotions.
Mostly anger and outrage.
Perceived injustices and so on.
Endless sympathy - inducing  images of  (insert the thing you most often react to), coupled with the empty assertion that Farcebook likes equal life saving surgery, is the way these things tend to go on the personal level.
Combine this with the unspoken hint that failure to comply makes YOU a BAD person , and - bingo!
Instant inferiority complex or self-doubt -
- but wait ! We have a cure for that , yes indeedy !
 What Action Film Star Are You Most Like , just answer these 20 questions...

...because people love to feel better about themselves.

Who needs therapy when there's clickbait on farcebook ?

Image by me so nyarr. 

Of course, it may be the case that you are stronger than that, with no Facebock/ Twitter/ Snapchat etc - in which case, well done you !


I wonder if there will be intervention groups one day, for people reduced to anxious wrecks by social media.

The Twelve Step Plan for Online Anonymous

Step away from the computer.
And your phone.
And TV

Hear that silence ?